April a month of tears for survivors Sharing stories ‘first step to healing’ By Louise Umutoni, The Ottawa CitizenApril 6, 2009

OTTAWA — In Rwanda, the rainy season returns each April, and so do the tears, as the month marks another year since genocide tore the country apart.

It has been 15 years, and Angelique Mutega, a genocide survivor who lives in Ottawa, has yet to deal with the memories.

“When I think about it I feel cold all over and my body stiffens. It’s like I am back there. I once tried to tell my story and I ended up in hospital,” says Mutega, a mother of two. She barely gets beyond these few words before she breaks down.

Mutega, like many other survivors, struggles with the horrific memories of the genocide that claimed the lives of more than 800,000, most of them Tutsi.

The slaughter, lasting about 100 days, is believed to have been sparked by the downing of President Juvenile Habyarimana’s plane on April 6, 1994.

Many say Rwanda was a bomb on a short fuse, that there had always been tensions between the majority Hutus and minority Tutsis.

Many Tutsis were forced into exile in 1959. But the animosity between the two groups had been growing since the colonial period.

“I know I will have to talk about it eventually, but not yet. The wounds are still fresh and talking about it is like tearing those wounds wide open,” Mutega says.

She does not mourn alone. April for most survivors is like a nightmare when they relive the horrific memories one by one.

“I lost my family to the genocide and for me April is a month I do not look forward to,” said Alaine Ikirezi, another survivor living in Ottawa.

Ikirezi found help, however, through Humura, an association founded in 2001 by and for Rwandans living in Canada.

“I was able to tell my story and I felt a heavy weight being lifted off my chest as I talked about how my family was murdered. This was my first step to healing,” said Ikirezi.

Humura has taken on the task of organizing genocide commemorations as well as bringing together all Rwandans in Canada. Another one of its duties is to ensure the broad Canadian population is aware about what happened in 1994 in Rwanda.

“Our mission is to ensure justice is done, preserve the memories and help all victims of the genocide,” said Richard Nsanzabaganwa, the president of Humura. “We want to fight those groups of people who try to deny the fact that it was genocide and bring up insulting comparatives,” he said.

Four years ago, Parliament passed a motion urging all Canadian institutions to observe April 7 as a commemoration of the Rwanda genocide, said Nsanzabaganwa. “Getting institutions involved is not to please the survivors but to ensure this crime never happens again.”

For the past eight years there have been commemorative ceremonies, usually lasting a week. This year, the plan is for a month of observances.

It was to begin at noon Tuesday with a gathering on Parliament Hill.

There will be a mass April 12, followed by a silent march in Gatineau. Flowers will be thrown into the Ottawa River in remembrance of those who were thrown in the Nyabarongo River.

There will be a discussion April 18 on the judicial system in Rwanda and a symposium May 2 about genocide denial.

Two days — April 10 and 24 — have been set aside for intimate gatherings, where testimonies will be shared. Survivors say it’s a way of paying respect to the dead as well as battling their own fears.

“We try to heal people and this usually happens when a person speaks out. Some of them have never talked about what they saw and what happened to them and we give them the opportunity to do that. However, sometimes we are satisfied with pure silence because it tells much and in a way we feel like we are in this together,” says Nsanzabaganwa.

Robert Manzi, a survivor who has attended these meetings, says that they made him realize he was not alone and that the same atrocities that happened to him happened to so many others. “Some people have very sad stories, a lot worse than mine, and yet they have moved on to become great people. I am inspired by them and this is what has pushed me to become what I am today.”

For more information on events marking the anniversary of the genocide, go to www.humura.ca